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The 12th Month.

Resolution.

That one word imprinted itself on Graeme’s psychological profile in the closing moments of the year 2010. Its origin mysterious, intentions unclear, the creature would reveal itself to have twelve faces, hidden to all but the soul it had chosen to impart its knowledge upon.

Neglected throughout history by well intentioned individuals who had abused its name, the creature had come for integrity. With respect, it would one day help to uncover past insecurities, oppose conventional rules, and award courage with recognition.

Yet, presently, the creature had only one aim. For it deserved to be more than a word consigned to the back of people’s minds. It had a higher purpose. Shrouded in shadow, that higher purpose could only be seen once one had looked through its many faces to gaze upon the final form; ultimately, the only one that mattered. It was more than a word alright. It was an idea. An idea that longed to spread.

At this interval you should be wondering what’s going on around here. Did you really give up your free time to read this? Aren’t I going to give you something in return for enduring the eyeball sucking potential of my bluey green anti-generic Wordpress blog? Will I ever stop procrastinating and actually get to the bloody point? The answer to all of the above, is yes.

New readers, welcome. You’ve chosen a good first post to enter on. Here and now, I will try to sum up the year using some sort of contextual fashion.

Those who know me (or rather, those who knew me before the beginning of May) should know all about the resolution a month idea that I did, in fact, only come up with in the hour or two before January began. That’s how I remember it anyway. Admittedly I didn’t come up with all 12 in that hour or two, nor did I give much consideration to realism, but I had the basics and, importantly, the rules. First, that each resolution would be accumulative. Second, that I would only reveal each one when it came to the appropriate month for that selected resolution. Third, that I would allow room for manoeuvre.

Everyone remembers my first two, mostly thanks to an interesting loophole (loopholes would soon go on to be the main theme of the year) that I initially didn’t see coming. Number One, January: Do not offend people. Number two, February: No alcohol. You can see potential problems already, can’t you? What if someone buys me alcohol and my outright refusal to drink what they perceive as a personal gift to me offends them? I soon realised that I no longer wanted to compromise on my second resolution, so the solution was simple: I discarded the first. The offense of others was not my burden to bear in the first place, although I did not know this at the time.

It makes me realise now that there should have been a fourth rule from the start: that each resolution should continue on independent of each other’s success or failure. January was written off and, in my mind, the whole idea of the twelve resolutions was under scrutiny before it had really begun.

Number three, March: Learn Japanese. Fascinating month, this was (and, not unlike the previous two, rather unproductive). My conspicuous absence from blogging activities during this time spoke volumes, but the Japanese wasn’t a disaster. I made a start and I still have the evidence to prove that I did so. Once I started writing again, it took a back seat in my mind, where it has been comfortably observing life from since. I’ll be seeing you again next year, Japanese.

Fast forward to May and I planned to start learning how to play the guitar. This was relatively successful but, like the summer in general, is not something I’m going to dwell on. Basically, the following months would, in summary, consist of: pass driving test (cancelled due to lack of funding), no pork (success), and… a bunch of other stuff that I’m currently losing the will to write about as we periodically converse over the internet waves.

I’m the first to admit that I made a few major mistakes with my resolutions this year. Those first three rules I mentioned? The second and third of them were clearly rubbish. If I was serious about this, I should have committed to all of them straight away, revealing them all in one go, allowing little room for compromise, but instead I gave myself space to manipulate the system.

None of this matters, though, because the overall year has been a success. Look at me now; talking sensibly about where I went wrong and admitting my mistakes. Was this or was this not the original intention that I started out with..? To get me to this point, at the end of the year, where I could allow myself to be critical not only of the films and video games that I review, but of me. Essentially, that’s who I did this for: me. Perhaps that was my true mistake.

So, next year, I’m going to mix things up slightly. I have six resolutions so far; three of them are benefitting me personally, three of them will be challenges of endurance for others, and the remaining six will be wildcards picked by someone other than me. Make suggestions and, to prevent me making it easy for myself, I won’t even make the final decision. I shall get a moderator to pick from the suggestions and hold me to them, whether I originally wanted to do them or not. Because when you think about it, we can be awfully biased when choosing our own resolutions. We are biased in our opinions of the things that need improvement. A lot of the time, we don’t even see where we need improvement. I believe I fail to see my potential strengths. Maybe someone else can.

I had, of course, planned to reveal what I’ve come up with so far in this post, but I’ve overrun a bit and I can sense you on your knees, begging me to end your suffering and hit ‘publish’ already. Fine, I’ll do that, but not before I say this post has been split into two parts. The next one will be far more exciting because it will be a preview, and I don’t do many of them. It will be my first Penowrimo post. It will be my first RNIB post. It will be my last post before All’s Fair in Love and War, Part 4. It will therefore be my last sensible post of 2011.

Most importantly, it will build on what was started with this years resolution idea. That’s what it was, then and now, an idea that, once grasped, will flourish into something much bigger.

And the idea’s name…was inspiration.

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