Start as you mean to go on; that’s what I planned to do this year and I’m not changing my new motto any time soon. Unfort- sorry, fortunately, this means I must ensure that each resolution I start continues on to the end of the year, and this creates an interesting loophole in my second resolution, which states no more alcohol (excluding cocktails, which are essentially made up of healthy things like fruit juices and milk with the occasional cherry on top). That is; if someone buys me a drink which just so happens to be an alcoholic beverage and I then outright refuse it, with them having spent their hard-earned cash (or loan) buying it in what they thought was a helpful favour to me, there’s a good chance they’ll feel offended by it, therefore resulting in the failure of my first resolution, which was not to offend people. And when I ask myself what is more important, my own health or not offending others, well, I know which one it is.
Surprisingly, this didn’t even cross my mind when I made the list. Nor did a few other things, like the cost of my next one coming up in March for example. But for now, that’s a secret.
A loophole is what I’ve been trying to find in my course, and I thought I had found one that would allow me to pretend I do creative writing instead of drama for the second semester of my third year. Thought I had. Wasn’t planning for all those other things to happen at the time, and unfortunately my usual tactic of leaving work to (relatively) the last minute, with the lame attachment of the excuse ‘I work better under pressure‘, backfired on me this time, which was really the wrong time for it to do so. I do usually work better under (relative) pressure, but what I should have considered as well was the introduction of a new website and blog into the equation. Sure, I can work under pressure just fine. I’ve just been working in other, vastly more enjoyable areas.
The truth is I don’t like drama anymore. I like acting, and even then, only when it’s on film, where you always get a second chance and have the helpful back-up of the elusive editor to make you look better in post-production. Stage acting, I can’t seem to click with one bit; at least, not after the two years I’ve just had with it. Please don’t ask why I even picked it in the first place. I did it at a time when I felt trapped, frustrated, within the confines of the system, and wanted to break free of the norm. Now, once again, I find myself trapped, frustrated, within the confines of the system, and wanting to break free of the norm. Is this some kind of endless cycle that doesn’t let up until you finally do something you’re happy with? Or is this what they meant in school when they said it was much harder in the extremely tough real world?
Screw the real world, I say. From now on, I’ll make my own. Where I’ll be King.